teh jokes thred

A proton and a Neutron are arguing over whether its a good idea to for the Proton to ask an Electron out on a date. The Neutron questioned the Proton "Are you positive?"

Lmao, thats a good one.

I have an oldly but goody, Would you like to see a paradox? Next time you get sick, when the examination is over, ask for a second opinion

turboStar wrote:A proton and a Neutron are arguing over whether its a good idea to for the Proton to ask an Electron out on a date. The Neutron questioned the Proton "Are you positive?"

OHHHH, I have a great idea for a joke based on this one, I'll have to get back to you on it

haha I just saw this one, and had to share it:
Q: What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
A: Hop in

I think i just stepped in a bieber. Why do bulls have to poop so much anyway?

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door, a truck came along, and completely tore off the driver's door! The attorney immediately grabbed his cell phone, hit speed dial for 911, and had a policeman there in 3 minutes.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. He had just picked up the Lexus the day before, and now it would never be the same, no matter how good a job the body shop does.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. " You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" he responded indignantly.

The cop replied, "You didn't even notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down! It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"OH, NO!" screamed the lawyer in shock. "Where is my Rolex?!"

Why do Bulls shit so much?
republicans need something for their speeches!
THATS RIGHT!!!! I WENT THERE! SO BRING IT!!!!!

Knock Knock

whose there?

9/11

9/11 who?

you said you wouldn't forget


not my joke but hahahhaa funny...... too soon?

What can you say to someone that has a problem peeing?




Urine Trouble

This isn't so much a joke as its a self-defeating statement that I laughed (on the inside) at when I heard it. Here it goes:

They do believe in Jesus too. Just under their own "rules."